Fibromyalgia Flare-Up Rant

Fibromyalgia is one of those incredible diseases in which you never know what each day will bring.  I almost wish that I got a memo to let me know what would be hurting me the following day so that I may plan my activities accordingly.

I have been suffering with Fibromyalgia since 2002, however, I have never had a flare up that has lasted for this long!  It has been 7 agonizing months since my current Fibromyalgia flare up has begun, and there is no sign of it backing down.  I have tried everything and anything that have been suggested with no success, and I am fed up.

Muscle relaxers do not help, narcotics do not help.  I cannot take a bath, as the tub is too hard of a surface to sit on.  The couch does not offer enough support and creates a restlessness in my hips that I cannot shake.  The TENS unit feels good as long as I am using it, as does the heating pad, and no longer than that.  We did manage to sweet talk Brent's father into giving us their memory foam mattress and that has been the only saving grace. 

Muscles burn and tense up from my shoulder blades down to the back of my thighs.  I can actually feel the muscles contracting, which is a very strange and uncomfortable feeling.  Sitting or laying in one position for more than 5 minutes is impossible.  I have got to keep shifting the weight of my body from one side to another.  I catch myself clenching my jaw throughout the day from the muscle pain that just will not let up, and I grind my teeth in my sleep all night long.  Brent tells me that the sound of me grinding my teeth is so loud that it wakes him up from a dead sleep.  This is a man who wouldn't wake up if you told him that he had won the lottery, and the poor thing is waking up from my jackhammer jaws. 

I have random stabbing pains in my hips.  All I can think of to describe it as is a long needle being forced into my hip repeatedly as if it were a dart board.  Soft massages help, but any sort of real pressure will send me flying out of my pants.

My clothes feel as if they are rough.  Imagine wearing a shirt lined with short pine needles, and every time you move, the needles scrape against your skin.  Now imagine wearing that pine needle lined shirt on top of a sunburn. Ouch!  Yes, that is what my clothing feels like.  I spend a lot of time during the day wearing nothing more than underwear (blinds closed of course!).  My 3 1/2 year old daughter thinks its fun and takes her clothing off too.  She wants to be like mommy.  My poor angel, if she only knew!

Put any sort of pressure onto my skin, even the slightest touch, and I flinch.  I feel as if I am one big gigantic bruise, and not one of those light bruises.  I feel like a deep purple, black, and red fresh bruise.  It is hard for people to understand how much pain they inflict by touching me at times, and I feel so horrible for backing away before physical contact. 

I am so tired of trying medication after medication, and having to wait a few weeks to see if they will help me out.  I am beginning to think that Fibromyalgia is a disease with no relief.  The only thing I can do is pray that tomorrow will be the day that I wake up flare free.