Fibromyalgia Flare-Up Rant

Fibromyalgia is one of those incredible diseases in which you never know what each day will bring.  I almost wish that I got a memo to let me know what would be hurting me the following day so that I may plan my activities accordingly.

I have been suffering with Fibromyalgia since 2002, however, I have never had a flare up that has lasted for this long!  It has been 7 agonizing months since my current Fibromyalgia flare up has begun, and there is no sign of it backing down.  I have tried everything and anything that have been suggested with no success, and I am fed up.

Muscle relaxers do not help, narcotics do not help.  I cannot take a bath, as the tub is too hard of a surface to sit on.  The couch does not offer enough support and creates a restlessness in my hips that I cannot shake.  The TENS unit feels good as long as I am using it, as does the heating pad, and no longer than that.  We did manage to sweet talk Brent's father into giving us their memory foam mattress and that has been the only saving grace. 

Muscles burn and tense up from my shoulder blades down to the back of my thighs.  I can actually feel the muscles contracting, which is a very strange and uncomfortable feeling.  Sitting or laying in one position for more than 5 minutes is impossible.  I have got to keep shifting the weight of my body from one side to another.  I catch myself clenching my jaw throughout the day from the muscle pain that just will not let up, and I grind my teeth in my sleep all night long.  Brent tells me that the sound of me grinding my teeth is so loud that it wakes him up from a dead sleep.  This is a man who wouldn't wake up if you told him that he had won the lottery, and the poor thing is waking up from my jackhammer jaws. 

I have random stabbing pains in my hips.  All I can think of to describe it as is a long needle being forced into my hip repeatedly as if it were a dart board.  Soft massages help, but any sort of real pressure will send me flying out of my pants.

My clothes feel as if they are rough.  Imagine wearing a shirt lined with short pine needles, and every time you move, the needles scrape against your skin.  Now imagine wearing that pine needle lined shirt on top of a sunburn. Ouch!  Yes, that is what my clothing feels like.  I spend a lot of time during the day wearing nothing more than underwear (blinds closed of course!).  My 3 1/2 year old daughter thinks its fun and takes her clothing off too.  She wants to be like mommy.  My poor angel, if she only knew!

Put any sort of pressure onto my skin, even the slightest touch, and I flinch.  I feel as if I am one big gigantic bruise, and not one of those light bruises.  I feel like a deep purple, black, and red fresh bruise.  It is hard for people to understand how much pain they inflict by touching me at times, and I feel so horrible for backing away before physical contact. 

I am so tired of trying medication after medication, and having to wait a few weeks to see if they will help me out.  I am beginning to think that Fibromyalgia is a disease with no relief.  The only thing I can do is pray that tomorrow will be the day that I wake up flare free.  

Prozac Side Effects - Anxiety!

I started Prozac on October 7th, 2009 in hopes that this medication will help with the depression I was experiencing from Lupus and Fibromyalgia. I had been on Celexa in the past, however, that had caused me to gain weight. I was already on Prednisone, and the Celexa just added that little extra push to make my weight a grand total of 169 pounds on my 5 foot 3 inch frame.

My neurologist had suggested that I try Prozac, as it could also be used to help control my Narcolepsy in conjunction with Provigil, another medication that I had just recently started. He gave me the usual side effect speech and asked if I wanted to try it. I said sure! Why not?

The neurologist had told me how to wean off of the Celexa and start the Prozac. We had a 3 week plan to get me completely switched over and onto a 30 mg daily dosage. By week two of being on Prozac, I had started noticing a difference in my moods. It had started out as me having small bouts of crying episodes for no reason. My husband would ask me what was bothering me and I couldn't tell him. I did not know.

At the start of week three came the heart palpitations and nervousness. I was constantly in a state of worry, feeling as if the world was going to crumble beneath my feet. I was on edge and any sort of noise would trap itself inside of my mind and consume me. I could not remember simple words or names of people; I would just stutter and random words would flow from my mouth. I was becoming a wreck.

By the time week four came around, I would have multiple crying spells a day every day. I would feel on edge in the morning from the time my feet hit the floor. Within an hour, my heart would start beating faster and my stomach would be tied in knots and I would be so nauseous that just the sight of food on television made me gag. If the phone rang, I would silence it. If the dog barked I would jump. If my children asked me a question, I would say no. It didn't matter what the question was, I just couldn't comprehend what they were asking. It was as if I was living in a foreign country and I didn't know the language.

One day in week five of Prozac I had forgotten to take my medication and it was then that I had realized that I hadn't cried but twice that day. I had made dinner and did not need a reminder that I was cooking. It clicked. It had to be the Prozac that was causing me to feel as if nothing was attainable. I had contacted my doctor's office and they had gotten me in to see my doctor within a two day period (thank you to my awesome friend Sharon, who just happens to be a nurse there).

At the doctor appointment I explained what was happening and how I was feeling. My mother went with me to my doctor appointment (as she or my husband always does), and the doctor had explained to us that the Prozac was causing anxiety attacks. He told me not to worry... it will go away once off of the medication. He said that I am going to be a B.O.W. for a little bit longer while weaning off of the medication, however I will not be plagued by this awful mess forever. I asked what a B.O.W. was and my mom laughed so hard I think her eyes were tearing... "bitch on wheels". Good to know that my doctor is not only an excellent doctor, but he's a bit of a comedian too.

It took me 2 days to get off of that dreadful drug and I am now onto the next. It is my 4th day of Cymbalta. Day 1, 2, and 3 went well, but here we go again... the heart is starting to flutter today. With my fingers crossed that this is just the tail end of the Prozac, I will do my best to take deep breaths and re-evaluate every situation that makes my eyes start to water.

***I would just like to say that even though I had a horrible reaction to this drug, Prozac is an absolute life saver for some people. Everyone's body reacts differently to medications, so please keep that in mind as you read my story. Thank you!***
P.S.- I'm down to 152 pounds as of today! Possibly from the anxiety, but at least its a start towards a healthier me.

Please be sure to check out my website Lissa's World for more useful information.